My mother’s voice, calling out that she has brought friends over to say hello and see our house,
within sight of the ocean. Our clothes are a good distance away by the back door.

I watch myself as I run through the apartment, screaming her name. This is a movie and I am not me but someone paid to be me who doesn’t quite know how to move in my body.

Every movement impulse sent from brain to body was measured, defensive. Being awake and outside at that hour had cracked the shell of security formed by months of carefully-monitored routine.