Seems an extreme reaction but when something goes wrong—like now, the blind chains tangling together—I want to shave all my hair off. It’s obviously not just the blinds, man, but also, it’s a little bit the blinds. Why don’t the threads work harmoniously? The block-out down, the sheer up, vice versa, endlessly jangling, while this goddamn hair’s in my eyes. Nah, I’m telling you, everything is trying to kill me. I start the razor and clean it all off, but I don’t stop there—let’s slash the load—I shave my kids’ hair and the cat’s too, and—what a sweet relief!
Caitlin Farrugia is a dark comedy writer fascinated by human behaviour and everyday suffering. She is the author of the short story collection, Search Histories. www.caitlinfarrugia.com