My roommate and I come home tipsy in heels and short dresses, tossing purses on the couch and heading to the kitchen for something to soak up the alcohol. I flick on the light and the roaches scatter. Fuck, there are a lot. I grab the handheld vacuum and start going to town on those bitches. “You look kind of awesome,” my roommate says, watching from the doorway. When I’ve sucked up as many as I can, I pop the plastic canister out of the vacuum and stick it in the freezer. Tomorrow, I’ll empty the carcasses into the trash.
Elaine Cary is a writer living in Omaha, Nebraska. She will never sign a lease again without careful inspection of its pest policy. Twitter: @angsty_witch