I’m nervous on the phone so I wrote my query to the tax office on an envelope before I rang. After forty minutes of Chopin’s Études and a recurring, “Your call is important to us,” I navigated to the relevant department and read my question. A robotic voice replied, “I’m sorry, I do not understand. Please repeat your question.” I tried summarizing. Again, the voice. “I’m sorry, I do not understand. Please repeat your question.” Two further attempts failed. I exploded. “Damn you, Clanker! I demand to speak to a human being.” “I am a human being,” came the reply.
Paul Goodwin lives in Somerset, England, where he writes fiction and non-fiction. His books include Forewarned (Biteback Publications) and Something Doesn't Add Up (Profile).