The therapist holds back tears as I describe the summer my anorexia started. She takes off her glasses to wipe her eyes. No, it’s not a sob story. She’s trying to stay professional, but the stand-up comedy routine I’ve defaulted to has her gasping for air between laughs. My body floods with confused joy. Infatuated with her laugh, I keep going: describing the dark humor of refusing my mom’s dinner because I ate too many plums, trying to exceed the recommendation of five fruits and vegetables a day. Performing in therapy brings short-term happiness. But each laugh pushes recovery away.
Maria Ordovas-Montanes enjoys writing true-life stories. Two-time Gotham Writers Stories Everywhere Contest winner, Five Minutes published, and award-winning Out There podcast contributor.