I can't turn on my faucet. Do I wash plates in the bathtub? Should’ve fixed the dishwasher. This is what I get for buying a touchless faucet in winter. I start calling. My boss, female, says, “This is what a man’s for.” Thanks, but wait, okay? Dad suggests the manual. I dig it out: three languages, no answers. Google shrugs. I press buttons and pull cords, flashlight in mouth. Scrolling YouTube, I sob at strangers’ sinks. Finally, a 34-second masterpiece: a woman, man-free and marvelous, finds a hidden reset. Don’t buy a faucet that needs batteries, or advice from men.
Ashni Patel is on a journey of learning, with a deep appreciation for puzzles, artichokes, and all things Nigel Slater. ashnipatel.com